WHAT’S IN A NAME?

This morning’s papers announce that the Chief Minister, H.D. Kumaraswamy has successfully ‘kannadafied’ Bangalore into Bungalooru. So what? I initially think… It is not a very earth- shattering move. The other states have done it. But the change of Trivandrum to Thiruvanandapuram, or Cochin to Kochi did not make as much impact on me as did Chennai, Kolkatha and Mumbai. I rebelled against accepting those changes. For good reasons, my mind keeps arguing!
Now the name Calcutta brings before my eyes the pristine lawns of the Victoria Memorial Hall whereas, Kolkatha transports me to those congested roads near Howrah Bridge and I can smell the fear of missing the night train when you are struck in the traffic to the station at 3.30 pm.
My heart never accepted Mumbai…… I can not visualize a Johnny Walker singing ‘yeh hai Mumbai meri jaan…’. I mean, the term mumbai sends tremors through my heart…of some underworld don’s henchman lurking behind me…. Though they do say it is the safest city in India ( at least when the Salman Khans are not driving… Or gun- toting goondas are not out on a gang war…or the man on the street doesn't get blown up by fanatical flicking of detonators)… Mumbaified Bombay ? Nah…! Will the Mumbai Duck taste the same as Bombay Duck? No idea, since I am a vegetarian!
And Chennai… I simply cannot. I am still a madrasi to my north Indian acquaintances. Somehow chennaiite seems so unhealthy…like cellulite or even pretentious as a socialite! Even when my nephew recited ‘Thalai nagarm Chennai’, I was humming…'Madraaaas Nalla Madras'! And…… how can I change my grandparents? My maternal grandfather was called Madrasthatha by all of us. Come on…. He cannot be changed into Chennaithatha…..would sound like a Youth Congress Leader!
Well, the Bard of Avon said, ‘ What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other word would smell as sweet.’ Being rechristened as Bungalooru is not going to alter the traffic jams, make it less ITcentric or make Bisi Bele Huliyanna any different…But I shall shudder whenever they announce at the airport, ‘Indian Airlines announces the departure of IC 961 from Sharjah to Bungalooru…..!’ Will it seem like going home?